A few weeks
ago we had our annual counseling conference at BCC. This year we had a special
Youth and Young Adult track titled Pathway to Life. In this track we covered 5
main topics which we are now going over during our IMAGE Sunday School class. Next
week’s topic will be “Wisdom: How to Make Big (& Small) Decisions” so I
wanted to discuss it a bit more for our youth parents this week.
There seem to be
a few common, yet faulty views on decision making we tend to fall into. The
first is when making a decision we should simply do whatever we want or “feels”
right. While yielding quick results and conclusions, this way leads down a very
hard path (Prov 13:15, Jer 17: 5-10). God does not intend for us to live life
apart from Him and His direction. Joy, peace, purpose, & direction all flow
from that. The second seems to be the complete antitheses. Someone making
decisions from this view, rather than ignoring God’s direction, would hyper-spiritualize
receiving God’s direction and would oftentimes wait to make a decision till
they have received a specific statement or sign from God for what to and until
then do nothing. While seemingly better on the outside, this view is just as
displeasing to God Who calls us to act and holds us responsible to make
decisions for the life, time, finances, relationships, etc He has stewarded to
us (Matt 25:14-30).
So what does that
mean? I’m not supposed to make decisions on my own without God’s direction, but
God expects me to make decisions? Yes. =)
When you have a
decision to make, whether involving 2 or 200 choices, you can follow this
model. The funnel is set up with 4 sections or filters that will begin to weed
out choices leaving you at the end with the best decision for you. Notice also,
the funnel is built with prayer that pervades every layer.
Prayer:
We are called to
bring our needs to God in the Lord’s Prayer and in many other places in
Scripture (Matt 6:9-13, 1 Pet 5:7). This should be done constantly throughout
your decision making process asking the Lord to lead you to the outcome He
would desire, asking Him to help you understand His Word, asking Him to provide
you with good counselors, etc.
Filter #1 - Biblical Commands:
What does the Bible
explicitly say about your choices. Would any of your choices involves violating
a specific law of God? Might you have to lie or “bend the truth” to accomplish
one of them? If so, it should be stopped at this filter.
Filter #2 - Biblical Principles:
What are
principles you can apply from the Bible to your choices or situations at hand?
For example, Proverbs 22:7 states, “The rich rules over
the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.” This is not a command to not borrow
money, but it does give us a strong principle to be care that we not take on
burdensome debt. Would one of your choices require you to take on more debt
than is healthy? It should be filtered out at this level.
Filter #3 - Wise Counsel:
Proverbs 11:14
states, “Where there is no guidance the people fall,
But in abundance of counselors there is victory.” God has given you people in your life to
help guide you to make a wise decision. Who might some of them be? I would
suggest those who know God’s Word well and have a vibrant relationship with Him
are a good choice as they will more naturally be thinking like He does. Those
who are older than you and have more life experience would be good also. Those
who love you and really want what is best for you. My suggestion would be that
as a youth some of the very best people God has probably placed in your life
for this kind of counsel are your parents. Go to them. Tell them where you are
at in your decision making process. Tell them the choices/options you still
have left. Ask for their thoughts, pros & cons, other questions they’d
have, etc to gain insight from them as you filter the choices.
Filter #4 - Personal Preference:
For some of you
this one may have sent a funny feeling down your spine. I can just choose? Yes!
But first notice two things. First, this filter is in the order of the funnel
for the reason it is. It is not the first filter, but the last having been
seeking God’s will and guidance throughout the process. Second, God says it is
ok and good, and He’s built you to have preferences to be able to make choices.
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.” That could be stated this way… “as
you are pursuing the Lord and finding your delight in Him, He will be placing
His desires in your heart that you might desire them as well and follow after
them.” God has given you the personality, joys, and passions He has for a
reason. They are what make you, you and what allow you to make decisions in
this final filter of the funnel. If you get to the end of Filter #3 and have
the choice between a red or blue car with everything else being equal you can
choose the color you like better! =) You don’t have to wait for a sign, lights
from Heaven, a fireball to incinerate the other option, … You should give the
seller your money and drive away with your new car happy and content that you
have obeyed God completely and made a choice that is pleasing to Him.
* One Note * - What about when my choice doesn’t work out?
Does that mean
you did something wrong, or stepped out of God’s will, or messed up the funnel,
or… No. It simply means that a gracious, good God has chosen to allow you to
suffer for your good and His glory like every other hardship and suffering you
have in life. Our sins do have consequences, but God is not a vindictive God
waiting for us to accidently make a mistake so He can hit us a good one. Nor do
hardships and sufferings always mean we have done something wrong. Take a look
at Job. He suffered for doing something right! =)
Here are a few
questions you might use to generate discussions around this topic…
- What are some of the bigger questions you think people face in life?
- What are some ways you think people often make decisions?
- What are some bigger decisions you’ve made in the past?
- What do you typically do when you need to make a decision?
- How might inaction be as displeasing to God as just doing what someone wants without seeking God?
- Which parts of the funnel seem hardest for you to do?
- What are some decisions you see yourself needing to make now or in the near future?
- Would you be willing to let me walk through those decisions with you?
Here
is a link
for the audio of this session with Scott O’Malley:
https://www.bethanycommunitychurch.org/resources/docs/2506-pathway_to_wisdom.mp3
“For this reason I too, having heard of the faith in the Lord Jesus
which exists among you and your love for all the saints, 16 do not cease giving thanks for you, while making
mention of you in my prayers; 17 that
the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit
of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.: (Eph 1:15-17)
- Phil
pic from: http://www.cbcdundalk.org/fork-in-the-road-32818-pm/
