Have you ever struggled with peer pressure? Are you over-committed? Do you “need” something from your spouse? Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an imposter? Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Do you get easily embarrassed? Do you ever lie, especially the little white lies? Are you jealous of other people? Do other people often make you angry or depressed? Do you avoid people?3
Of course, we could add to this list, but it is likely that one or two of these questions caused us to pause and acknowledge that we do indeed struggle with the fear of man. How might we define this struggle? What is the fear of man? While lengthier definitions may be given4, suffice it to say that for our purposes we can think of the fear of man simply as being more concerned about what others think than about what God thinks.
The Scripture teaches us about this struggle, and also gives examples of how the fear of man was manifested in peoples’ lives. Let us look at each of these in turn.
First, consider Proverbs 29:25 which says, The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. To be ensnared is to be trapped, and when we esteem the opinions of others too highly (i.e. more than God’s) we are quite literally held fast or trapped by them. Those whom we fear exercise some measure of control over us. I don’t remember where I heard it, but I remember an illustration that was given to describe how the fear of man controls us. Imagine you have a handle on your back, and the person whom you fear is grasping the handle and moving you about in every direction in accordance with your goal of pleasing the person, seeking their approval, avoiding their disapproval, etc. A rather dismal picture. The trouble is not primarily that this is a miserable way to live (though it is that!), but rather that when this occurs, people are big and God is small. Proverbs 29:25 not only warns us of the danger of the fear of man, but also gives us hope. Take another look and notice the parallels: fear – trusts; man – LORD; snare – safe.5 Those who trust in the LORD are safe. We are secure in our position as God’s redeemed children. More on that in a moment.
Second, consider two examples from Scripture: King Saul and the Apostle Peter.
In 1 Samuel 15, the LORD instructed King Saul to destroy Amalek including man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey because of the way the Amalekites had mistreated God’s people, Israel. In the ensuing destruction of Amalek, Saul spared the life of Agag the king of the Amalekites and he also spared the best of the cattle. The LORD was angry with Saul and sent Samuel to rebuke him for his disobedience. Saul replied to Samuel by saying, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice” (v.24). The reason Saul disobeyed the LORD was because he feared the people more than God.
The Apostle Peter serves as another example. We remember how he denied the Lord three times (Matt 26:29-75), fearing being associated with Jesus. Then, in the book of Galatians, we read how Paul opposed Peter publicly for the way he drew back from the Gentiles and separated himself from them for fear of the Jews (Gal 2:11-14). Perhaps these accounts remind us of a time in our own lives where we were silent when we should have spoken up for the cause of truth, or a time where we compromised our conviction for fear of what others would think.
The fear of man is a stubborn struggle, one that causes us to be silent when we should speak, to speak when we should be silent, to say ‘yes’ when we should say ‘no’, to fold under pressure, and on and on we may go. We acknowledge that the struggle is real, but there is hope for the believer. Let us now consider how we may, by God’s grace, overcome this all-too-familiar malady.
We start with the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge, it is hatred of evil, and it is a fountain of life (see Prov 9:19; 1:7; 8:13; 14:27). When we fear God, we esteem him rightly and understand that he is indeed Creator and Lord. When we fear God, God is big and people are small. This is not to say that people are insignificant or that we view others with disdain. Instead, it means that we view people rightly, as fellow image bearers whom we’ve been called to love and serve. We begin to overcome the fear of man when we fear the Lord. Additionally, our fear of the Lord flows out of our relationship with him through our beloved Savior, Jesus. This leads to the second consideration, namely, we overcome the fear of man by returning to Christ.
Christ is our Savior who invites us to draw near to his throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and grace to help in time of need (Heb 4:14-16). This is the One to whom we should run when facing the fear of man. We run to Christ. We return to him. We humble ourselves before him, confessing our sins and casting our cares upon him, believing that he cares for us (1 Peter 5:6-7).
Third, as we think about situations where we know we are especially vulnerable to succumb to the fear of man, we ask ourselves, “What does faithfulness to God look like in this situation?”6 and then respond accordingly, by God’s enabling grace.
Finally, a help in overcoming the fear of man is by hiding God’s Word in our heart (Ps 119:11), and a good place to start is by committing to memory Proverbs 29:25. Again, this verse says, The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Memorize this beautiful truth, and then pray, “Father, help me to trust you.”
The struggle with the fear of man is real, but God is our helper and therefore we have hope in the midst of the struggle. By his grace, we will persevere in striving to overcome the fear of man.
For further study:
- Book: When People Are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch
- Book: Rejoice and Tremble: The Surprising Good News of the Fear of the Lord by Michael Reeves
- Article: “Fear of Man: How Is It Working for You” by Ed Welch
- Article: “How to Grow in the Fear of the Lord” by Michael Reeves
Written by Pastor Blake
